Monday, February 22, 2010

C'mon, admit it - you've got one too

I'm talking about the kitchen drawer. You know - THE kitchen drawer.

It's where all the miscellaneous crap ends up ... you can admit it now - you know exactly what I'm talking about, you slovenly old goat.

Well, here's mine - nothing like airing your dirty laundry to the world, all in the pursuit of cheap entertainment. I have no pride. Go on - have a good nosey.

Every few months I open this sliding embarrassment and just sigh. (Well, obviously, I open it up more frequently than that, but I can usually blank out our awkward relationship and I just ignore it). I do try to keep it tidy and respectable, honest. It just defeats me. Every time.

I rummage in vain for something I just know should be in there. It's a timewarp-vortex-cum-hellhole that steals random items and puts new ones in their place, it allows other items to breed willy-nilly and it refuses to give up a chosen product when asked. And I even ask politely. No, OK, that was a lie. I swear and throw, shuffle and bang, with no respect or consideration for the contents if truth be told.

This strange timewarp-vortex breeds single gloves, blunt scissors and used-up rolls of sticky tape. Dog leads go in, and dog collars come out. Four passports enter and three are released from it's dirty, seedy grip.

Empty spectacle cases, near-empty glue bottles and tiny hairbands inhabit the corners - lurking, lost and forgotten.
A lone lightbulb which lost it's way en route to the light bulb box in one of the other kitchen drawers, waits expectantly at the entrance. I hear it's mournful, lonely cry in the wee small hours. "Why me?" it sobs.

Doggie poo bags galore, ribbons and stickers, little lapel pins and mis-treated but not quite ready for destruction old watches. Children's temporary tattoos and those little but oh-so-useful packets of tissues, which would be so handy if only you had been able to find them when you packed your backpack for that walk - you know, the one when the kids got a nosebleed. Darn - now where did I put them?

Go on - have another good look - I would place a bet that something YOU have mislaid is actually in MY drawer. Just shout and I'll see what I can do!

11 comments:

  1. Oh Dear, I hate to admit it but I have 2 of these drawers...and they are deep...no such thing as tidy and respectable....more like cluttered and disrespectful...lol
    I think that's my lightbulb and theres my granddaughters hairtie...
    love this honest post
    you slay me
    God Bless

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  2. LOL!

    We started our own one of these up only a couple of months ago after amassing various items and having nowhere to put them (and find them again!)

    Ours isn't quite as "well developed" or erm "diverse" as yours just yet, with just a few shoelaces, sticky tape, rubber bands and lightbulbs, but I now have something tangible that I can aspire to in the days ahead!

    Oh, and I quite fancy that bit of curly pearlescent present ribbon thats just lying around if you don't want it ;)

    Flossie

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  3. But you have to have one of these drawers, otherwise where would the "I-haven't-a-clue-where-to-put-this" stuff be kept!

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  4. lol! I love posts like this! :D :D :D

    I have a drawer like that.

    And an entire closet like that too. I bet 20 quid that you do too, Ann. C'mon fess up! ;-)

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  5. I know exactly what it means because ours is more messier than yours ^_^

    My World: Bavarian Inn

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  6. Ah ha! I knew it! We've all one of these drawers.

    Dar - two drawers? How lavish!
    Flossie - you must work harder - diversity is key
    Rob - so true and we have tons of I-don't-know-where-to-put-its!
    Marnie - you don't even want to see my closet - now that would be an airing laundry step too far.
    Kim - Well done! Keep up the good work!

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  7. hah yes. my filing system is very similar! Great post

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  8. Actually, I am missing some painters tape. Is that it, in the middle at the back? Well no matter, if it were here in my drawer, I wouldn't find it either! Mine is much messier!

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  9. Ha!....I can beat all of you....I have an entire room devoted entirely to crap! I got so embarrassed by it that I just keep the door shut tight now and never go in!
    I'm sure at night I can hear movement....

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  10. I have a whole house like that drawer!!

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  11. I hear you! We all have at least one of these drawers. At times when I'm on the phone I do a bit of cleaning in my junk drawer. After taking a second look at your drawer...are those passports in the corner? Too funny.... Have a great weekend! Jude

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