... but they call me Smudge, and I am taking over this blog today. I am neat and dainty and I think my keyboard skills are not too bad, all paws considered.
This is me - a handsome fellow don't you agree? I am smart, cute, clean .... modest to a fault.
I live with four of those human upright creatures - they treat me well enough.
There is The Boss, a tall calm man who I have reluctantly allowed to think he is the alpha dog. It grates all the time, but what can you do? He has proven immune to my growling, my smiling, and my fantastic three-legged skills of peeing up a tree. But he is an enthusiastic and energetic companion for me and he takes me on some awesome walks. I think I'll keep him.
There is The Reluctant Dog Owner, a kindly female who seems forever surprised that she has canines in the house, but she sure is a sucker for tail wagging, paw waving and stick-your-tummy-in-the-air. I can get her to do almost anything I want. I have learned to ignore all the feline artefacts around my home - I don't think she sets out to hurt my feelings on purpose, but at the last count there were 6 cat ornaments on the shelves in the noisy-box room, and two blatant large cat pictures in the food room.
And then there are the two Small Creatures. I can't quite work them out them yet. They are alternately affectionate and aloof, and have a severe issue, nay aversion, to picking up my poo. Sometimes they agree to play with me and other times I am blatantly ignored, even when I bring them their slippers and their chewed up underwear.
And then there is The Daft One. She is the other dog in the house, but my god, she is soooo stooopid. She gives us woofers a bad name. Mind you, she is pretty cute, all blonde and fluffy like - but the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, if you get my drift. I try and teach her the ways of being a smart canine, but I'm wasting my time. Really, I am.
So - that is the set up in my pad. I thought I might quite enjoy this whole blogging life too you know, so I'd like to bring you stories of what I get up to every now and again. I can sneak on this computer when The Reluctant Dog Owner isn't looking. She is on the damn thing so frequently that it may be hard to get in when she isn't looking, but I have been watching carefully and I know how to load photos, use paragraphs and use my paw to press that "Publish Post" button.