Smudge here - how are you good folks doing?
Thought I'd tell you about my daft friend Honey, and what happens when she ignores my good advice. You can lead a dog to water, and all that .....
(I'm the tall, dark and handsome one.)
You remember Honey right, the stoopid one?
Cute as a button but, oh boy, not bright. At all.
So The Boss took us for one of our favourite walks by the Ranch House this week. It was a drizzly, cold day and though I hate to admit it, I was a soggy, shivering wreck at the end, let me tell you. Dignity goes out of the window when you've been rained on for an hour.
Old Honey-chops over there only went and stuck her nose into a dead porcupine. I told her to leave it alone, but does she listen? Nope.
And because she is so dumb, she didn't yelp or cry out at all, so neither The Boss nor The Reluctant Dog Owner had a clue she had done this, and to be honest I was so wrapped up in my own shivering misery, I was too busy looking for a good towel rub-down and a nice warm blanket. Call me selfish.
So it wasn't 'till the end of the day that The Reluctant Dog Owner finally found the porcupine spines sticking out of Honey's head - she had four in her chin, one on the end of her ear, one on her back and another poking out of the top of her head.
To be honest, I couldn't see them at all 'cos the spines were the same colour as her fur, and they were all small, broken ones anyway.
So, The Boss and The Reluctant Dog Owner get into a big conversation about what to do, how to get them out of her skin and how much it would all cost. There is no fee too high to take care of and pamper us, no?
And Ol' Honey-features just looked on blankly - completely unaware and well, just daft really. Totally not bothered that she looked like a walking pin-cushion. So they saved on vets bills and waited 'till the following day.
The next morning The Boss took her off for an hour - didn't invite me along - typical! I miss out on all the fun.
And then they came home again and Honey looked totally pissed. Like really drunk man, it was so funny. I sniffed her, I tried to mount her, tried to get her to play ball. Nada!
Her front legs couldn't hold her up (she is a wee bit on the heavy-side, it must be said), her back legs were really wobbly and she was just no fun at all - she just slept all evening, and snoring like you wouldn't believe. After laughing my ass off, I finally gave up and snoozed on the sofa.
Something about sedation, I think they called it.
But you know what, if we see that smelly old dead porcupine again, I bet she'll still go up to check it out. See what I mean .... D-U-M-B-O !