Saturday, September 8, 2012

I'm not fat, I'm fluffy...

It's that time again.  My Bi-Annual Big Diet.  

There comes a point in everyone's life where the scales laugh in your face and your jeans refuse to close. Sometimes you reach that point over and over again, and you still don't learn.  I've reached that point, and some.
If I put on any more weight, the friction from my chubby, chafing thighs might just cause me to self-combust.  And that can get expensive.

I could lie and tell you I am curvalicious, or buxom, or shapely.  And while I am technically all of those things, it's just all a bit more rounded-off than it ought to be!

It's a sad fact that I cannot access about a third of my wardrobe. And I don't mean I can't reach it - I mean that I can't button it. Resembling a shrink-wrapped lumpy sausage is apparently not this season's hot new look.

The last few months have passed in a delightful blur of too-busy work days, lazy vacation days, as little physical exercise as possible...
and the terrible discovery of Maynard's Swedish Berries 
and Costco's ready-made Margaritas.  And it's been great! 

But all good things ...

I can't even tell you that I battle with my weight because that would assume some element of effort.  I am genetically lazy and I am apathetic in maintaining a good weight, until I reach the point of no return.  
Then I witness a hot holiday on the horizon (read that as need-to-wear-a-swimsuit-in-public) and the full horror and realisation of my wobbly bits comes fully into focus.  There's a very good reason I only have one full-length mirror in the house - and we are not well acquainted.

Me and these same ol' 15-20lbs are so familiar with each other. But I am bored with them.  Be gone with you.

So - back into the rhythm of normality - new term, new job, new season - please wish me some cyberland good vibes as the calorie counting begins.  Again.  

Oh, and good luck yourself if you are attacking some poundage right now.


  1. Maynards is an evil, evil corporation. Deliciously evil.

    Good luck! Be strong!

  2. I know what you mean. My excess weight refuses to leave me, probably because the bulk (no pun intended) of it is steroid weight from a medication called prednisone, which my doctors fed me in large amounts 20 years ago.
    My husband, however, is at this moment providing me with a fashion show because he has lost 50 lbs. and wants to see if any of his clothes fit him.
    His doctor told him to lose weight before he'd perform the serious preventative surgery he needed, so he calmly cut all his food intake in half and lost 40 lbs. Then he lost 10 lbs. more in hospital.
    I could live on lettuce for two months and not lose an ounce.
    I am SO jealous.
    On the other hand, steroids or no steroids, I look exactly the way my grandmother did at my age, so I might have been this size anyway.
    Good luck with your new job and with your calorie-counting.

  3. Thanks Deb and Kay.

    Kay - well done to your hubby - that's an amazing loss - good for him.
    And I hear you about the stubborn pounds. I only have to look at a cookie and I put on 3lbs! And my kids are 14 and 12 so I can't legitimately use the baby-fat excuse now!!