I have to confess something. I LOVE looking at show homes. Those poor sales reps can spot me a mile off - I might as well tattoo "just browsing, please ignore" across my forehead.
I don't want to buy one you understand. I don't need one. I just want to look, and touch, and coo appreciatively. Or pooh-pooh the whole design and layout, and critique the lack of space in the fourth bedroom.
I like to momentarily fantasize that I too could have a sparkly, clean and shiny home, encompassing my amazing design skills, colour co-ordination and the latest, greatest modern appliances and gadgets. And there would be nothing out of place in my dream life/home. My granite would sparkle, my towels would be fluffed and the toilet paper holder would refill itself. Yes, I really can be that shallow for about half an hour every other weekend.
But let's get real. That would be sooooo boring. My home is, er, homely. People actually live in it. These people leave their crap everywhere. The windows have dog-nose smears and small handprints on them that glow with such luminescence during these low-sun autumnal evenings. And no-one is capable of re-stocking the loo paper.
Look at this latest trend. A boot room. Isn't that a thing of beauty?
Yeah, right. Because we all own one pair of co-ordinating boots, a cute hat and one coat. Can you imagine this scene when you swap "design" for "reality". Chaos I tell you.
I laughed recently at a little cardboard notice in a show home. It said "Have you got HDD?" House Dissatisfaction Disorder!
So, no actually - I am not dissatisfied with my house really. I just like to be bloody nosy and see what trends are out there. I'd hate to think I was missing something.