I'm writing today in response to a message we bloggers at Frostbite and Sunburn received. The Reluctant Dog Owner was a little saddened that one of our readers hinted that we dogs were perhaps not being looked after properly, and that we might require the services of a dog walker.
This relates back to some flippant comments made in a September blog about us doggies feeling lonely now that the Little People have gone back to school again and everyone leaves us alone during the day.
I can confirm, whole heartedly, that we are well looked after and very loved dogs. Misdemeanours of chewing sandals and cushions and peeing on the door mat were hinted at.
Apparently, in a bid to promote some entente cordiale, we dogs have to now publicly admit that we have some weird habits. No, I'm not sure how that works either, but anyway, it's obvious to even the casual observer that Honey is quite frankly an oddball. We all know she's cute but er, well, stupid. So it's confession time.
First off, Honey is obsessed with shoes. We think she has a footwear fetish and ought to seek some counselling. This mostly culminates in gathering shoes that our family leave lying around (and believe me, they leave a lot of shoes lying around), and then placing them right beside her nose as she dozes. She even sleeps with her face fully submerged in one of The Boss's old slippers. I know! Where there's no scents, there is no feeling.
Me - I have a penchant for licking the corner of cushions. Day or night, in company or alone, there is something quite lovely about sucking on the blue cushion in the bedroom and that brown cushion in the lounge. Yes, I am smart, good-looking and intelligent, and no, I don't know why I like cushion corners. I've done it since I was a puppy.
As for peeing on door mats - that definitely wasn't me. I have a bladder with amazing storage capabilities. Honey may or may not (I can neither confirm nor deny rumours) have had a little piddle the other week. The Little People decided to go to some friends after school and they forgot about us and our need for fresh air and toilet facilities.
(Hey, shhhh, what's that strange creature over there?)So, to put minds at rest and assure our Anonymous and concerned reader, we are well-walked, well-toileted and well-catered for - and mostly well-behaved. We are not destructive bored doggies, though we are obsessed with barking at any person, truck or leaf that passes by the Window for Nosy Dogs.
In fact, the Reluctant Dog Owner thinks we get more consideration than anyone else in the house.
And quite right too, says I.