I have been busily attacking a long list and scribbling away at my Christmas cards this week. The numbers of cards dwindle a little each year as I try to be more sensible, economical and green and therefore send e-Cards and emails - but I know I love to receive cards so I do have a fondness for these little posted messages in December, despite the commerciality of it, the cost of postage and the sheer waste of paper!
But I am truly stuck on one particular card this year and seek some empathetic suggestions.
Some friends of ours in the UK lost their ten year old son last January so this will be their first Christmas without him, hotly followed by the anniversary of his death. I am literally lost for words (I know). I want to send something, write something, make contact again. My heart breaks for them when I think (frequently) how their lives have changed.
What to say? I have contemplated a letter as opposed to a card - I have thought about a special type of card - thinking that something smothered in Santa's or smiling reindeer would be (even more ) inappropriate. It's the elephant in the room. Their Christmas will be incredibly difficult - I don't think they will choose to ignore it as they have another child - and the mother does have her faith which has taken an almighty pounding this year, so I'm not sure Angels-on-High would say the right thing either.
They were quite good friends when we lived there - several BBQ's and school socials type of thing - but not heart-to-heart buddies. I have written twice since I heard what happened.
I do not know anyone else who has lost a child - somehow parents and partners are in a different category of grief, I'm not sure why really. I feel it totally inappropriate to even mention how we are getting on.
Thoughts gratefully appreciated fellow bloggers. I thank you.