The "Out" place

Last night we went to the "Out" place .... have you ever been?

It's the place where adults go. No, there's nothing kinky about it (well, I suppose there can be sometimes) but it's the place where they go to socialise, to eat, to enjoy themselves without children.

So, we went there too. The without children part is crucial. We met some friends in a restaurant. See, there's another important word - restaurant. It wasn't a diner, it wasn't a cafe and it wasn't a drivethru. A lady offered to take my coat, and didn't hand me crayons and a word search puzzle in return. She gave me a simple and beautifully printed menu and a linen napkin, and I didn't see one soft drink in the place with a plastic lid and a straw.

One often catches glimpses of the "Out" place when you are with your children but you try to ignore the urge to get sucked in. It's like a whole parallel universe that exists and you are aware of little wormholes, offering the sights and sounds of sparkly animated people sitting in that unfamiliar relaxed pose, at a bar, or out walking - and look, they are holding hands! There are no noisy little people in view - can such a place really exist? Nah! And you go back to concentrating on wipe-clean surfaces, lost socks and the electric motor project you need to finish before Monday's Grade 5 assessment.

So last night we dined peacefully, able to finish complete, like, whole sentences (I know!), and absorb a quiet dignified atmosphere of clinking glasses, leather chairs and foodstuffs made with real basil leaves. I doubt there was a Build-a-Bear or a chicken nugget within a mile of the place.

Next we went to another venue. I know, I know, I'm showing off now, but it was a theatre. Just a little theatre, hosting a one-man improv show, but he was such a laugh. His name is Kevin Tomlinson for anyone interested, a UK guy, who did a wonderful show walking the audience through the seven stages of life, from birth to death.

He started off by getting the audience to write a one-line lyric from a song onto a small piece of paper. The papers were then randomly scattered all over the floor of the stage area, and he commenced his monologues. He changed clothes and wore superb masks for each character. Every now and again, he would scoop up a piece of paper and insert the lyrics into his conversation, and take the show in whatever direction he felt like.

Of course, this was very funny, witty, smutty, silly and he is one clever and talented gent.

"And my father said to me, just before he died" ... (pick up lyric) ... "he said to me, son, It's Raining Men, Halleluja, It's Raining Men .... and then he died"

"And at that moment, I felt like Jesus, on the cross, and as I looked over to the other guys on their crosses, I said Shake Your Bum Bum, Shake Your Bum Bum"

"And what did the bully at school say to you Graham?"

"He said C'mon Rude Boy, Can You Make It Hard Enough?"

"And then what happend Graham?"

"I said to him Mmm, You Sexy Bitch"

"And daddy is moving away? Where is he going? Who is he going with?"

"Well, your father told me Puff The Magic Dragon, Lives by the Sea ... that's it, he's going to live with an old dragon in BC"

And so it went on, so funny .....

This is a clip to show you who Kevin is:

And at the end of a truly pleasant, grown-up evening we bid farewell to our friends and drove home to the children. We opened the front door to our real life and closed the door to the "Out" place for another little while, satisfied with enough memories to keep us going until next month when we plan to see Eddie Izzard. This could become a habit you know.